Search results for: butter-my-butt-and-call-me-a-biscuit-2011

Call Me Softly

Author : D. Jackson Leigh
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When it comes to family secrets, Southern gentry would rather let sleeping dogs lie. Abigail Wetherington believes the evil that stalks her family in the streets of London is a sleeping dog come back to bite them. So with her last breath, she implores her beautiful granddaughter, Lillie, to flee to the family's polo estate in South Carolina and seek the protection of someone Abigail has come to trust—Swain Butler. What Lillie doesn't know is that she is putting herself in the hands of a woman who may be the biggest family secret of them all. Be careful, Abigail cautions Lillie. If sleeping dogs must be roused, then call them forth softly.

The Sweetest Thing

Author : Jill Shalvis
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From the New York Times bestselling author of the Lost and Found Sisters comes a heart-warming and funny story about family, friendship, and love. Two Men Are One Too Many . . . Tara has a thousand good reasons not to return to the little coastal town of Lucky Harbor, Washington. Yet with her life doing a major crash-and-burn, anywhere away from her unfulfilled dreams and sexy ex-husband will do. As Tara helps her two sisters get their newly renovated inn up and running, she finally has a chance to get things under control and come up with a new plan for her life. But a certain tanned, green-eyed sailor has his own ideas, such as keeping Tara hot, bothered . . . and in his bed. And when her ex wants Tara back, three is a crowd she can't control-especially when her deepest secret reappears out of the blue. Now Tara must confront her past and discover what she really wants. If she's lucky, she might just find that everything her heart desires is right here in Lucky Harbor.

Restless Heart

Author : Wynonna Judd
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Destiny Hart's dream of becoming a singer has come true. But with the exhilarating rush of success comes a price-and a battle to recapture the traditions that were her foundation. Reconnecting with what matters most, Destiny is putting an unexpected new spin on her career that wi;; redirect her life in ways she never imagined.

I Knew You d Be Lovely

Author : Alethea Black
File Size : 38.67 MB
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“What smart, memorable, inventive stories these are—skilled, insightful, full of heart.”—Joan Silber, author of Ideas of Heaven Alethea Black's deeply moving and wholly original debut features a coterie of memorable characters who have reached emotional crossroads in their lives. Brimming with humor, irony, and insights about the unpredictable nature of life, the unbearable beauty of fate, and the power that one moment, or one decision, can have to transform us, I Knew You'd Be Lovely delivers that rare thing—stories with both an edge and a heart.

The Farce of the Fart and Other Ribaldries

Author : Jody Enders
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Was there more to medieval and Renaissance comedy than Chaucer and Shakespeare? Bien sûr. For a real taste of saucy early European humor, one must cross the Channel to France. There, in the fifteenth and early sixteenth centuries, the sophisticated met the scatological in popular performances presented by roving troupes in public squares that skewered sex, politics, and religion. For centuries, the scripts for these outrageous, anonymously written shows were available only in French editions gathered from scattered print and manuscript sources. Now prize-winning theater historian Jody Enders brings twelve of the funniest of these farces to contemporary English-speaking audiences in "The Farce of the Fart" and Other Ribaldries. Enders's translation captures the full richness of the colorful characters, irreverent humor, and over-the-top plotlines, all in a refreshingly uncensored American vernacular. Those who have never heard the one about the Cobbler, the Monk, the Wife, and the Gatekeeper should prepare to be shocked and entertained. "The Farce of the Fart" and Other Ribaldries is populated by hilarious characters high and low. For medievalists, theater practitioners, and classic comedy lovers alike, Enders provides a wealth of information about the plays and their history. Helpful details abound for each play about plot, character development, sets, staging, costumes, and props. This performance-friendly collection offers in-depth guidance to actors, directors, dramaturges, teachers, and their students. "The Farce of the Fart" and Other Ribaldries puts fifteenth-century French farce in its rightful place alongside Chaucer, Shakespeare, commedia dell'arte, and Molière—not to mention Monty Python. Vive la Farce!

The Ultimate Game

Author : Kevin Bakko
File Size : 43.71 MB
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Here's What Former NFL Players Think About "THE ULTIMATE GAME" (THE ULTIMATE GAME) reads as if Tom Clancy hijacked Monday Night Football; its that cutting edge. Joe Kapp; Super Bowl Quarterback and CFL Hall of Fame Inductee THE ULTIMATE GAME puts the sport of professional football in a futuristic setting and tells a tale of what technology could one day allow. Its a positive, exciting thrill-ride for all ages. Its a frightening and intriguing look at how the game could be manipulated. Dan Pastorini; Pro Bowl Quarterback I cheer Kevin (Bakko) for writing a fast moving, fun, futuristic novel that thoroughly entertained me. And he found no need to load the book with the smut that has been filling most sports books to date. Phil Villapiano; Super Bowl Champion Linebacker If John Grisham and Issac Asimov got together to write a novel about pro football this is what they would write. You have to read it to believe it! Jeff Nixon; Former Player, and Editor / Natl Advocacy Committee Member of Fourth and Goal Assists Kevin Bakko does a great job of conveying the spirit of the players and their drive to be the World Champions of NFL football. He also points out the price that players pay to play in the NFL both mentally and physically. Carl Mauck; Thirty-Four Year NFL Veteran Player and Assistant Coach THE ULTIMATE GAME is a book that honors the NFL alumnus of yesterday, today, and tomorrow. George Martin; Super Bowl Champion Defensive End and President of the NFL Alumni Association IMAGINE THE MOST TECHNOLOGICALLY ADVANCED VIDEO FOOTBALL GAME EVER CREATED. IMAGINE SOME OF THE GREATEST PRO PLAYERS TO EVER STEP ON THE GRIDIRON AT THE CONTROLS. NOW IMAGINE BOTH, MANIPULATING A REAL NFL FOOTBALL TEAM WITHOUT THEIR KNOWLEDGE WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT. 2019 is the 100th Anniversary of the National Football League, and the Houston Texans have just won their second Super Bowl in a row. Now comes their quest for an unprecedented third consecutive trip to the championship game. Yet accomplishing this extraordinary feat will not be left to either dutiful preparation or divine providence. A glory-driven head coach (Walt Griffin) and a narcissistic neuroscientist in need of human guinea pigs (Dr. John McLane) have combined forces to reach the final phase of their respective lifes ambition. But murder, mayhem, and the pursuit of answers to gut-wrenching questions are driving veteran All-Pro quarterback Rod Mackenna to make sense of the resulting toll that has been taken by his team, his teammates, and his long but no longer unrequited love interest. On the day of the Super Bowl with the final piece to an unimaginable puzzle firmly in his grasp Griffin and McLane catch Mac within the confines of the clandestine command center used by their band of former gridiron heroes to control the active players, on-the-field, like a macabre video game. Only the threat of harm to his (now) fiance keeps Mac on the sideline with a bogus injury as the final contest of the season kicks off.

The Cocaine Chase

Author : Dorothy May Mercer
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The Whisk of Love

Author : Elaine Hoover
File Size : 78.14 MB
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Fifty-year-old Marcia, a resident of the small, unexciting town of Haystack, Wisconsin, sells scalp massagersalso known as scalp whisksfor a living. With the help of her friend Betty, Marcia spends her free time engaged in an endless search for a man. Unfortunately, her hunt for the man of her dreams has become as challenging as finding a needle in a haystack. In her quest for true love, Marcia endures blind dates, hires a dating service, attends singles events, and attempts online datingall to no avail. Despite enduring endless disaster dates that include wacky characters like Crack Head Bob and Farmer Tony, Marcia still holds on to the slim hope that she will someday find a man who will treat her like the queen she isand maybe even gently whisk her tired scalp on cold Wisconsin nights. Left with few options, Marcia turns to a social networking site. What she finds there will change her destiny forever. In this delightfully witty romantic tale, a middle-aged woman must learn to not only survive, but blossom into who she was always meant to be as she embarks on a hilarious roller coaster journey through the unpredictability of romance.

Here to Stay

Author : Catherine Anderson
File Size : 80.9 MB
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New York Times bestselling author Catherine Anderson will touch your emotions with the story of woman who brings out the best in a daredevil cowboy in this Harrigan Family novel. At twenty-eight, Mandy Pajeck has spent most of her life taking care of others. Since the accident that took her younger brother's sight, Luke's complete reliance on Mandy's care has left both of them feeling trapped. But when Mandy meets handsome Zach Harrigan, she thinks she’s found the ticket to her brother’s happiness. Of the five Harrigan siblings, Zach was the hellion who partied hard and took nothing seriously. But when his life starts to feel empty, Zach decides to employ his skills as a horseman to train a mini guide horse for the blind—never expecting the project will lead him to beautiful, tender-hearted Mandy. Even though she’s charmed by Zach’s patience and compassion, Mandy can’t bring herself to fully trust him. And when Zach urges her to confront the truth about her mother’s disappearance, the secrets they uncover are so shocking that even Zach’s steadfast devotion may not be enough to win her heart...

Crazy Sh t Old People Say

Author : Geoff Tibballs
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With old age comes grey hair, dodgy knees, a sudden passion for re-runs of Murder, She Wrote, and an apparent God-given licence to speak one's mind and be generally offensive without fear of retribution. Under the guise of passing on the benefits of their experience to family members or just casual acquaintances, old people exercise their right to swear, cuss and insult as they please. These feisty philosophers take no prisoners as they use their scalpel-like tongues to dissect modern life and the younger generations. If challenged over their outrageous comments, they'll play the age card: you know the sort of thing - 'I'm eighty-six, I've fought for my country, and if I want to call you a no-good, lowdown, useless fuckwit, then I'll call you a no-good, lowdown, useless fuckwit, Vicar.' Other gems include: It bugs me when people say, 'Life is short.' What the hell does it mean? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does! Are they going to do something that's longer? Son, if it's got tits or tyres, you're gonna have trouble with it. We all have our disappointments in life, son, and I'm talking to mine right now. The only way in which life resembles a bed of roses is that you encounter a lot of pricks along the way. Sure I'm surprised you can't get a job, son. I heard the world was crying out for someone who is lazy, has no qualifications but can spit gum into a waste paper basket from ten feet. Don't you think you might stand a better chance of becoming a captain of industry if you got rid of some of that metal shit on your body - like the nose stud and the eyebrow rings? Donald Trump may have a crap haircut but I bet he doesn't have pierced fucking nipples. Son, if life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. The secret of a happy life is to run out of cash and air at exactly the same time.

Star Trek Vanguard What Judgments Come

Author : Dayton Ward
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After Operation Vanguard leads to the reawakening of the vengeful Shedai, ambassadors struggle to prevent war while Diego Reyes, Vanguard's former commanding officer, leads the search for a weapon that can destroy the Shedai.

Petrified Altar

Author :
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Green Mountains Review

Author :
File Size : 53.56 MB
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Stirring It Up with Molly Ivins

Author : Ellen Sweets
File Size : 85.38 MB
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You probably knew Molly Ivins as an unabashed civil libertarian who used her rapier wit and good ole Texas horse sense to excoriate political figures she deemed unworthy of our trust and respect. But did you also know that Molly was one helluva cook? And we're not just talking chili and chicken-fried steak, either. Molly Ivins honed her culinary skills on visits to France—often returning with perfected techniques for saumon en papillote or delectable clafouti aux cerises. Friends who had the privilege of sharing Molly's table got not only a heaping helping of her insights into the political shenanigans of the day, but also a mouth-watering meal, prepared from scratch with the finest ingredients and assembled with the same meticulous attention to detail that Molly devoted to skewering a political recalcitrant. In Stirring It Up with Molly Ivins, her longtime friend, fellow reporter, and frequent sous-chef Ellen Sweets takes us into the kitchen with Molly and introduces us to the private woman behind the public figure. She serves up her own and others' favorite stories about Ivins as she recalls the fabulous meals they shared, complete with recipes for thirty-five of Molly's signature dishes. These stories reveal a woman who was even more fascinating and complex than the "professional Texan" she enjoyed playing in public. Friends who ate with Molly knew a cultured woman who was a fluent French speaker, voracious reader, rugged outdoors aficionado, music lover, loyal and loving friend, and surrogate mom to many of her friends' children, as well as to her super-spoiled poodle. They also came to revere the courageous woman who refused to let cancer stop her from doing what she wanted, when she wanted. This is the Molly you'll be delighted to meet in Stirring It Up with Molly Ivins.


Author : Lori Micken
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Being a widow on a remote Montana ranch in 1897, presents many hardships for Calla Lily Brandy. During her October trip to Buffalo Grass, the nearest town, Molly McAffee arrives on the stagecoach. She has come from Chicago to marry a local cowboy, but finds he has been killed. Having no money to return home, it seems to be a perfect solution both for her and Calla for her to come live on the ranch. Calla's conniving brother-in-law, Jake, from St. Louis adds to her difficulties by claiming her property is half his. Calla cannot find a paper showing that she and her husband had indeed repaid the loan they made from Jake to buy the ranch. Molly and Calla contend with weather, livestock, predators, isolation, and each other in the long months of winter. Visitswith neighbors and trips to town are rare. Reginald Stafford, a widower, arrives from England in the spring to look at the ranch. He has purchased an option to buy it from Jake. Although disappointed with the rustic buildings, he does not believe there are any corrupt dealing, and remains determined to claim that which he thinks is rightfully his Both Molly and Cal are attracted to the man. Two neighboring young men are competing for Molly’s attentions. At 39 years old Calla can find no viable option for keeping the ranch, and few for what to do with the rest of her life.

Babies Daddies

Author : Marlene Ricketts
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Veganize This

Author : Jenn Shagrin
File Size : 45.3 MB
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Veganize This! shows herbivores and carnivores alike how to turn the delicious dishes from their previous butter- and beef-filled lives into tasty vegan creations that go well beyond the sprouts-and-groats fare often still associated with veganism. For the gastronomist, Chef Jenn's creations include Jumbo Lump Jack- Fruit Crab Cakes with Spanish Garlic Mayonnaise and Quattro Formaggio White Truffle Macaroni and Cheese. Craving something a little more down-home and comforting? Check out the recipes for DIY Vegan “Doritos®” and Chicken Fried Tofu Steak. With tips and tricks throughout—from making your own mock meats to killer dairy substitutes—Veganize This! is also accompanied by a healthy side dish of sass; Shagrin's comedienne-by-day humor makes this a read that's satisfying for the funny bone as well as the belly.

Jan Karons Mitford Years Novels Six Through Nine Plus a Father Tim Novel

Author : Jan Karon
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Visit America’s favorite small town one book at a time. From the #1 New York Times bestselling author Jan Karon, this is the new ecollection of novels six through nine in the beloved Mitford Years series, plus Home to Holly Springs, the first novel in the Father Tim series. Readers have come to feel at home in Mitford, the little town with the big heart. As this charming mountain village works its magic, you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll quickly make friends who feel like family—for the residents of Mitford are the most ordinary people who live the most extraordinary lives. And in Home to Holly Springs, you will travel back with Father Tim to his childhood Mississippi home, where he discovers the awesome power of love and forgiveness.


Author :
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The Compu mark Directory of U S Trademarks

Author :
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